


MOTHER

by unknown_name



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Caretaker Sae, Feverish Goro, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Maternal Instinct, Mother-Son Relationship, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-09-12 16:16:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9080086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknown_name/pseuds/unknown_name
Summary: Akechi Goro was just like a child. A little boy crying in a narrow, dark corridor, desperately hoping for someone to reach out a helping hand to him. But then, he saw it. The light he needed, no, craved for so long, had been close to him the whole time.





	

"Yes, I am aware of what happened... a really bizarre case..."  
  
Akechi Goro's sleepy brain barely managed to register the words being pronounced. To him, they were nothing more than an annoying buzz ringing in the distance, faint, yet quite persistent. All he wanted was to go home and sleep, but the mountain of work waiting for him was a harsh reminder he couldn't do that just yet. Having no other choice, he grudgingly headed for the coffee machine, not out of craving, but necessity. The coffee of the police station was the blandest he had ever tasted, but still a good enough pick-me-up. He chose the strongest mix available – he needed all the caffeine he could get.  
  
"Berserk incident, yes... simply stood there on the crosswalk... a truck around the corner... death was instantaneous..."  
  
As Akechi Goro was trying hard to resist the drowsiness looming over him, the woman on the phone was getting more and more restless, so engrossed in her conversation that his presence had apparently failed to catch her eye. To be fair, he couldn't really call himself a professional hitman if he wasn't discreet, he thought absent-mindedly as he forced himself to suppress a yawn.  
As if on cue, the beeping of the coffee machine startled her and the woman suddenly glanced at him. Her conversation now over, she hung up and focused all her attention on the young detective, her composure returning as fast as it had left her. "Ah, Akechi-kun. Good timing."  
  
The words hit him like a whiplash. Akechi Goro did his very best to repress the groan threatening to escape his throat – now more than ever, he really, really wanted to take a break. But it appeared Niijima Sae wouldn't let him.  
  
"We just got a new case in our hands, possibly related to the berserk incidents. The victim this time is the principal of Shujin Academy, who was last seen at..."  
  
Yes, the teenager already knew. The man had been found in a horrifying state, barely recognizable, with the involuntary manslaughter leaving a truck driver scarred for life. Well, this wasn't Akechi Goro's problem. It was unfortunate, but there was nothing he could do about it. The prospect of a long nap sounded far more interesting to him. How come he had been unable to sleep last night anyway? Surely it couldn't have been because of guilt. The principal's death had been a necessity. His survival would have led both Shidou Masayoshi and Akechi Goro to their downfall for very different reasons, and so the teenager had been left with no choice – he had only followed his orders. There was nothing to feel guilty about. He grew accustomed to the sensation of blood dripping off his hands long ago anyway. Then again, was it really possible to get used to something as twisted as murder?  
  
With somewhat shaky hands, he carefully picked up the hot plastic cup and brought it to his lips. The drink was still scalding, forcing him to reluctantly wait for it to cool down.  
  
Niijima Sae, meanwhile, didn't seem to notice how the young man was lost in thought and only half-listening to her. "... and so I would like you to review some files for me while I'm discussing the case with another colleague. Is that alright with you?"  
  
The question was polite enough, but the tone of voice made her words a command. Clearly, she didn't intend to let Akechi Goro have a say in the matter. The teenager gave her a smile he hoped was convincing enough, but he could feel it being unnatural on his lips. Even so, it should be enough to fool her – years of practice had turned him into an excellent actor.  
  
"Of course, Sae-san. Leave it to me." he replied, making sure the words didn't sound hollow or fake. The beginning of a headache nibbled at his brain as he spoke. Being exhausted was one thing, but he really could do without unnecessary pain right now.  
  
Despite his efforts, Niijima Sae had probably noticed his forced behavior, for she softened up and spoke with a more gentle, controlled voice. "Thank you, Akechi-kun. I won't take long."  
  
And on those words, she made her way outside the small office room and closed the door behind her, leaving the teenager alone. Sighing to himself, Akechi Goro dropped his perfect facade and let himself fall on the prosecutor's chair. The surface of her desk had disappeared under the hundreds of files she had left behind, and the young man groaned at the massive pile. Did Niijima Sae see him as nothing more than her secretary? Her errand boy? If he wasn't feeling so tired, he would have found the situation almost funny, he thought as he gulped his coffee down. The woman had no way of knowing it of course, but not many people could brag about bossing a professional hitman around. He was well aware his role as an assistant to Niijima Sae was all for the sake of keeping the facade up, but Akechi Goro couldn't help resenting her for adding to his already massive mountain of work her own personal duties.

The young detective listlessly picked up one file at random, and understood right away her haste to relegate the task to him. The paper was nothing but a garbled mess, filled with unnecessarily long descriptions of judicial procedures whose existence he wasn't even aware of. The rest of the pile was the same, only blocks and blocks of never-ending text that would have given the most zealous and dedicated of students a hard time. The way the prosecutor had said it, Akechi Goro had expected an assignment related to the new case, but he had been proven wrong. A part of him believed Niijima Sae had been deliberately evasive in order to coax him. She could be quite cunning when she wanted to be.  
  
Akechi Goro's shoulders slumped as he forced himself to focus on the task at hand. The prosecutor had expectations for him and he had no choice but to fulfill them – he wouldn't hear the end of it if she caught him slacking off. With a resigned sigh, he forced his eyes to browse one, two, three files with care, but the longer he went on, the heavier his eyelids felt. Clearly, the coffee had been completely useless. He also felt abnormally hot despite wearing his summer uniform, as if the temperature in the room had gradually jumped to 96 degrees. With shaky hands, he loosened up his tie just a little and unbuttoned his collar, failing to notice one of its silver pins falling to the floor. The consequences of his sleepless night caught up to him and he couldn't keep his eyes open anymore. Despite trying his best to stay awake, he dropped his head unwillingly in his arms and not even the ache in his skull was able to prevent him from falling in a deep, almost instantaneous slumber.  
  
The long-desired rest wasn't as effective as he had hoped, for it was filled with strange, senseless dreams. At one point, he saw a woman asking him for directions – she was looking for her own home. Akechi Goro was taken aback when the address she gave him turned out to be _his own,_ and this is when he somehow realized this woman was his mother. Her face was a blur, but he was absolutely positive it was her. Just as he was about to ask if she was real, she vanished in the darkness, leaving the teenager alone in a black void.  
  
Akechi Goro didn't wake up. He stirred weakly in his sleep, his face now covered in sweat and his eyebrows furrowed.  
  
The door of the office suddenly opened as the silver-haired woman stepped through it. "I'm back, Akechi-kun. I hope you were able to–"  
  
She stopped in her tracks at the sight before her. If there was one thing she hadn't expected, it was the vision of Akechi Goro sleeping soundly at her desk and the massive pile of files scattered everywhere exactly like she had left them before exiting the room. It was quite obvious the detective had given up in the middle of his task, if he had even bothered starting it at all.  
  
Her first reaction was to wake him up and berate him for his unreliability, but a sudden hint of guilt prevented her from doing so. It had been a low blow to give him such a tedious assignment that even she considered a chore. Akechi Goro was her partner, not her lackey. Besides, she thought as she carefully approached him, she couldn't ignore the massive dark circles under his eyes and his disheveled hair. He was probably exhausted. His face looked pained, as if he were having a bad dream.  
  
As she was wondering whether to wake him up or leave him be, she noticed a single tear rolling down his cheek.   
  
She was taken aback. The guilt consuming her stepped aside for a mix of pity and sadness tightening around her heart with an iron grip. It was the first time she witnessed something other than perfection from the teenager. Perhaps Niijima Sae had been too obtuse. Akechi Goro always made sure to be flawless in every way, and so she had eventually forgotten he was really a child with his own problems and worries. He only pretended to be perfect all along, and the realization made something resonate deep within her. Niijima Sae too, was pretending to be perfect in every way. She didn't have the choice – her environment put her at a disadvantage compared to her male colleagues. She was quite ashamed to admit her immaturity, but she resented the young detective for being so popular, successful and competent. Compared to her, he had it easy. Or so she believed.  
  
Even so, the sight of the teenager asleep washed away every single trace of jealousy she had been holding back. It took her a moment to realize the envy darkening her heart had been replaced by a wave of maternal instinct.  
She carefully observed him. His face was flushed, and the trail left by the tear mingled with beads of sweat dripping off his face. She did notice his behavior was off before she left the room, as if he were feeling uncomfortable, and it appeared his condition had significantly worsened since then. Was he sick?  
  
Just as she reached out a hand toward his forehead with the intent to check for a fever, Akechi Goro stirred weakly. She could hear him mumble in his sleep, but she wasn't sure she properly heard him. It sounded like he was calling for... his mother...  
  
She realized there was quite a lot she didn't know about him. She had sometimes asked him somewhat personal questions as small talk when they had dinner together, but his answers were always evasive. What was Akechi Goro's family situation like anyway? Now that she thought about it, he had never mentioned his parents once, which was quite unnatural for a teenager, and something clicked inside her mind. Niijima Sae didn't have definite proof, but she somehow had the feeling she was about to piece the puzzle back together. She made a mental note to ask him more thoroughly about his family when he would feel better, and finally put her hand on his forehead. As expected, he was burning up. Then, the unexpected happened.

The physical contact startled the teenager awake and before she could even begin to process what was happening, he grabbed her wrist so hard she was certain he would leave a mark. For a moment, they stared at each other as if time had stopped, and not a single sound managed to pierce through the now silent, tense atmosphere in the room. The maroon eyes Niijima Sae was used to see as round, big and soft, had now narrowed to slits. Wrinkles sprouted from them and distorted the detective's facial features into something almost inhuman, almost _bestial_. Those eyes did not belong to the Akechi Goro the prosecutor knew. They were not those of a teenager, but of a bloodthirsty animal ready to defend itself until it kills, or is killed. Even his clenched teeth seemed to have changed – his canines were akin to fangs.  
Her blood ran cold but even so, Niijima Sae wondered if she hadn't imagined it all, for the thin, murderous slits returned to the big, innocent child-like eyes as fast as they had transformed. This entire interaction lasted only a matter of seconds. Time began to move again and before she knew it, the teenager had hastily removed his grip from her wrist. His face was more flushed than ever – out of fever or embarrassment, she didn't know.

"A-Ah... S-Sae-san, I..." he stuttered, his body shaking just as much as his voice.

The teenager seemed close to having a nervous breakdown. Niijima Sae knew that one mistake, one wrong gesture would set off the minefield that was currently Akechi Goro, and so she carefully chose her words.  
  
"Akechi-kun, I think you have a very bad fever. You should get some rest." she told him as gently as possible, gesturing toward the couch in the room.   
  
She would be lying if she said his sudden and unexpected outburst hadn't shaken her up, but she figured her physical contact had taken him by surprise and he had only reacted instinctively. Maybe she caught him in the middle of a nightmare, explaining his hostile response, but Niijima Sae couldn't help thinking there was more to it. Still, any trace of the _hatred_ reflected in his eyes was gone. He seemed so vulnerable in that very moment, so child-like, she just couldn't hold a grudge against him.  
  
As Niijima Sae was calm and collected, Akechi Goro thought his heart was about to implode.  
  
He had blown his cover, he had ruined his perfect facade, he had hurt her, she was going to uncover his true nature, he would probably have to dispose of her too like everybody else... and even so, she had been gentle, kind even, as if she hadn't figured out the truth about him despite it all. He had no idea how he was supposed to react. He supposed he should feel relieved. Still, he didn't manage to shake off the paranoid wariness enveloping him like a thick fog. But paranoia wasn't the only sensation consuming his mind. There was remorse, too. His reaction had been extreme, but understandable – as a hitman, Akechi Goro was forced to be cautious at all times, and couldn't allow himself to be caught off-guard, especially not in such a vulnerable state. This is why he had been so startled by the contact. It had been unexpected, a concept Akechi Goro always had to avoid no matter what. Still, he had hurt her, and he cursed himself for it.  
  
As if on cue, Niijima Sae put a reassuring hand on his shoulder and he focused his attention on her eyes, which were soft. He allowed her to lift him up and guide him to the couch where she carefully laid him down, making sure he was comfortable.

A nagging sensation poked at his mind. He believed he had a bad dream, but couldn't remember what it was about. It took him a while to realize one of his eyes felt wet, as if he had been crying. A sudden wave of embarrassment washed over him, and he truly hoped the prosecutor hadn't noticed him tearing up. It was the first time in years he had lost control over his emotions, and the realization formed a cold lump in the pit of his stomach. Being seen as anything less than perfect was probably one of his worst fears, and now this fear was coming true.  
  
A cold, soothing sensation on his forehead jolted him awake from his thoughts.  
  
"Your fever is very high. You should rest here for a while. Surely it is more comfortable than the desk?" the woman asked teasingly as she removed her cold hand from his forehead, earning a small grunt of protest from the teenager. "Try to sleep. I will be back in a few minutes."  
  
Akechi Goro sheepishly thanked her as she straightened up, her heart heavy, and just when she was about to leave the room, a gasp faint as a murmur made her freeze in her tracks.  
  
"Sae-san, one of the pins on my collar disappeared..." Akechi Goro whispered as he painstakingly forced his body into a sitting position. Niijima Sae glared at his stubbornness. Was a jewel really that important right now, when he was so sick he could barely manage to stand up?  
  
"Stop it, Akechi-kun. Do you want to make your fever even worse? We will look for it later, when you're–"  
  
"Please... it is very important to me." he interrupted, desperation apparent in his voice. "Could you... look around the room...?"  
  
Akechi Goro was not giving her an order. He was begging. Niijima Sae felt her heart tighten a bit more in her chest, if that was even possible. With a sigh, she gave up and complied. It didn't take her long to find the silver jewel. It had rolled under her desk, which she presumed had fallen there when he had drifted asleep. She picked it up and, ignoring Akechi Goro's protests – she knew he was too tired to do it himself – she clipped the pin back on his collar.   
  
"There. Now as I said before, get some sleep. I'll be right back."   
  
Akechi Goro had no choice but to obey – the authority in her words made it clear. Muttering a shy "thank you", he watched her leave the room from the corner of his eye as he lay down again. His heartbeat had now steadied, but the paranoia looming over him was still very real, like a thundercloud whose hard rain could break out of any moment now. It had been way too close. He practically sold himself out, didn't he? It was a miracle Niijima Sae had taken his outburst in stride. How come she hadn't recoiled? What made her act so kind, so motherly to the person who had just hurt her?  
  
His eyelids were too heavy, and he felt his consciousness slowly drifting away as he heard the distant, faint sound of the door opening.  
Even as his vision faded to nothingness, he saw her. Through half-lidded eyes, he observed Niijima Sae putting something blue – a small towel – on his forehead. A cold, welcome sensation went through his skin, and this act of consideration sent a jolt of gratitude to Akechi Goro's brain.  
He had practically no memories of her, but in that very moment, Niijima Sae seemed to be what he had always imagined his mother would be like. Tall. Thin. Long-haired. Beautiful. Intelligent. Strict. Maternal. Meticulous. Dedicated.  
There was one difference between them, however. Niijima Sae was a strong woman. His mother was not. The teenager's heart fell.  
Even so, he didn't hate her. He couldn't hate her. It wasn't resentment that filled his heart so much as extreme grief. He instinctively brought a finger to the pin the prosecutor had retrieved for him. She couldn't understand, of course, but Akechi Goro had his reasons for treasuring it so much.  
  
After all, those two pieces of silver jewelry were the only mementos his mother had left for him. For as long as he could remember, he always had them.  
  
He couldn't really explain it, but the image of Niijima Sae clipping the pin on his collar felt like he had traveled back in time. In that moment, Akechi Goro wasn't a murderer. He wasn't even a teenager anymore. He was nothing more than a child consumed by sickness, and whose mother was determined to nurse back to health. Those were the last thoughts his brain managed to form before he succumbed to sleep.  
  
Niijima Sae watched over him and sighed in relief at the sight of his chest finally rising and falling in a regular pattern. His face was pale despite the fever tinting his cheeks red, which only highlighted how dark his under-eye circles were. Still, his pained expression had stepped aside for some kind of peace washing over his facial features, and the prosecutor found the realization comforting.  
She was unable to put the memory of his outburst at the back of her mind, however. His eyes had enthralled her. In them, the innocence and the softness had disappeared. They had been instead filled with emotions that shouldn't be seen in a teenager's eyes. Hatred. Darkness. Loneliness, perhaps. But there had been something else. She couldn't put her finger on it.

Akechi Goro was an enigma. She didn't know if she had the right to solve it. She had always kept her distance from him, unwilling to mix her job with her private life. But something deep within herself, a tiny voice, told her that in that moment, Akechi Goro wanted her, _needed_ her. The vulnerable, pitiable frame on the couch stirred weakly and she made up her mind. Trusting her instincts, she knelt down and carefully closed her hand over his. She knew her decision was sound when she felt his slender, warm fingers tightening around hers, as if he were afraid she would let go. A lump found its way in her throat.   
  
After what felt like hours, she finally found the words she had on the tip of her tongue to describe Akechi Goro's eyes. They were those of somebody who grew up too fast.  
  
For a split second, she swore she saw the shadow of a smile on his face, but it was gone so fast she believed she had only imagined it. Niijima Sae felt as if time had stopped again, yet a single word managed to break the magic spell.  
  
"Mo... ther..."  
  
Akechi Goro's voice had been barely louder than a whisper. The seeds of pity that had taken root in Niijima Sae's mind blossomed into flowers of sorrow and she squeezed his hand a bit harder, as if to assure him she was there and wouldn't leave his side. Her heart was heavy, but she had a hunch the sensation was nothing compared to what the teenager probably felt everyday.   
The whole interaction had made her momentarily forget, but the memory of her father washed over her like a tidal wave. She knew what it felt like to lose a parent, and finding out her own partner very possibly suffered from the same situation filled her with empathy, but also resolve. She would give him the chance she never had. She would take care of him and support him in his time of need, unlike she who had nobody to rely on but herself. She refused to let the detective suffer the same fate, and so she promised.  
  
"I won't leave you alone, Akechi-kun. I give you my word."  
  
He didn't respond. He was in the middle of a dream – a nightmare. He was a small child, stuck in a dark hallway that seemed to stretch on forever. There were thousands of doors lining both walls, but no matter how many he tried to open, he couldn't find a single unlocked one. He wasn't able to prevent his stinging tears from welling up at the corners of his eyes, and they eventually formed small, wet circles on the carpeted floor. As he sniffled and ran along the corridor while leaving a trail of tears behind, desperately looking for the exit, a miracle happened. A woman, so beautiful she seemed to radiate light, appeared before him and gave him a tender, warm smile as she offered him a soft hand. He didn't recognize her face and hesitated for a few seconds, but his pure, child-like innocence told him the apparition was worthy of his trust. With shyness apparent in his gait, he approached the woman – the goddess – and after staring at her with big, round eyes full of curiosity and awe, he closed his tiny hand over hers. She squeezed it in a sign of comfort, and together, they escaped the darkness.


End file.
